Our Panto this year - the Dwarfs and Snow White,
When first it was chosen - we thought that's alright,
The choice was so good - we all were quite happy,
We didn't then know - we'd appear in a nappy.

The auditions took place - the main parts dished out,
Who would get them - there seemed little doubt,
And the Chorus of course - was not left to chance,
You were still rejected - if you could act, sing or dance.

Rehearsals commenced - we all tried our best,
We all learned our lines - well some failed the test,
The instructions to Chorus - we heard all the while,
Pretend to enjoy - and for heavens sake smile.

John Cole as the King - so regal and grand,
He looked so majestic - as he ruled the land,
But there is a big question - about his main role,
In Snow White and the Dwarfs - there is no King Cole.

Jan as the Queen - played the part really well,
She wound herself up - and cast a spell,
She scared you lot - it was plain to see,
She certainly frightened - the life out of me.

And Helen as Lester - quite brilliant again,
Her talent is endless - no limit to her fame,
But there was one occasion - when she nearly had a fit,
The scene in the nursery - when they took off her kit.

The scene in the nursery - a new one this year,
We all approached it - with trepidation and fear,
There was one occasion - that made us all start,
That loud sound effect - of an enormous "burst of wind".

Geraint as Dithers - all shaky and old,
Had only one costume - and that wasn't bold,
It's a good job we ran - only 5 shows this year,
To keep him in crockery - for longer, too dear.

Lisa as the Prince - all quiet and refined,
Whatever was done - she didn't seem to mind,
But I have to mention - something contrary,
She proposed to a girl - now who's the fairy.

And talking of fairies - wasn't Sarah good,
She danced and she smiled - as good fairies should,
But her wand was so wonky - I thought it was dead,
And the booze she consumed - it went straight to her head.

Meurig as Georgie - a fine sense of dress,
His costume so colourful - who says it's a mess,
Comments like that - are not very fair,
And don't mention the fact - of his bright red hair,

Mr Cainem was Des - as usual so loud,
He commanded the stage - of him we are proud,
But we found out this year - of his limits we thinks,
Don't ask him again - to make all the drinks.

Now Nursie was Beth - a stalwart of the show,
There's nothing about it - that she doesn't know,
But I have to mention - one question that begs,
Why wait so long - before showing her legs?

Phil as Soothsayer - he talked to us all,
But he did have trouble - with his little ball,
It didn't work well - at projections you see,
It only picked up - what we see on TV.

I've not mentioned yet - the Dwarfs or Snow White,
The stars of the future - from what I've seen tonight,
But I do have to say - to one star of the future,
Fancy calling your Mom - bossy by nature.

The lighting this year - as usual so bright,
But it worked on its own - turning day into night,
Who should we blame - whose fault is it most,
My conclusion is that - it was done by a ghost.

Our front of house team - as usual so smart,
They are very good - and really look the part,
But I've noticed this year - there's a difference so slight,
They've changed all their dickies - this year they have white.

This Panto depends - on lots of people not seen,
The Dressers, Costumiers - and Backstage in the team,
On sound and the lighting - refreshments and all,
Without any one - this Panto would fall.

And finally - I'd just like to say,
It's really been fun - with you in this play,
But Rita and I - think it's time to depart,
To give all the youngsters - the chance of a part.

Now finally finally - this is a really sad day,
It's the last time our Helen - will appear in a play,
She's off up north - and going to get wed,
We'll miss her like mad - everyone has said.

So let's send her away - with a tremendous cheer,
And we'll all be thinking of her - at the Panto next year,
We wish her the best - as a dutiful wife,
And hope she enjoys - a long and happy life.